What a world it would be if we all left people better than we found them! We all want to be with the nicest people, hang out with the coolest people and meet the most wonderful people but we rarely bother to be nice, cool and wonderful to people too.
What value do we add to people’s lives? You can’t get what you don’t give, can’t give what you don’t have and can’t have what you don’t cultivate. The greatest recipe for getting to the top, and staying there, is to add value to everyone on your way up. Do you leave people better than you found them, or worse? When you leave, do people wish they had never met you or pray you’d be in their lives forever?
A rich man is truly known, not by how rich he is, not even by how many rich people are his friends but by how many people he makes rich with his wealth. A Major-General is truly known, not by how many battles he has fought and not by how many stars are on his uniform but by how many scars he has to show for the battles he fought.
We all want people to honour us, respect us, appreciate us, say nice things to us, be kind to us, put a smile on our faces, comfort us, love us and generally be good to us. Do we respond in kind? Are we nice to people and good to them too?
You are truly great, not just by your being great but by how many people your being great has made great. When you leave people better, much better than you found them, then, you are truly great!
Saying the right thing the wrong way usually backfires. Most of us are often tempted to give ‘well-meaning’ advice to people and offer them ‘a better way’ to do things. Worse still, we come out sounding downright snotty the way we say it and give long, impassioned speeches that say, ‘Good God, you are daft!
Here are ways to give constructive criticism. Before you criticize, ask yourself:
1. ‘Am I interested in this person’s good or do I just need to look good?’
2. ‘Am I blame oriented and judgemental?’ Avoid blaming and stop talking about why they did it, who is to blame, or how stupid and selfish it was, or what’s wrong with them, etc.
3. ‘Am I pointing the person towards solutions?’ Don’t give people an analysis of their problems. Suggest a remedy and let God drive the point home.
4. ‘Am I speaking the truth in love?’ Love says, ‘………..I’d like to offer a suggestion. Would that be alright?’
Most times, it is the way it is said rather than what is said that causes frictions in friendships/relationships. The suggestions here work like a charm and will hopefully work for you to foster better relationships and make you better friends cum critics. Till I come your way again (that actually means ’till I feel like blogging again’), be good!
(Excerpts from TWFT April, 2012)
“The single most important difference between champion achievers and average people is their ability to handle rejection and failure.” Tom Hopkins. Adversities don’t kill you. They grow you! Gold never becomes pure until it goes through the fire. Most successful people are just determined people who take many wrong turns and a few right turns.
“The Lord of the Flies”, which school syllabuses around the world now use, was rejected by seventeen publishers (SEVENTEEN!!) before it was published. What a shame it would have been if William Golding did not try ‘one more’ publisher!
You cant travel the road to success without a puncture or two. Oswald Avery advises, “Whenever you fall, pick something up.” How inspiring! One great man I admire a lot, Revd. Sam Adeyemi said, “I have tried more things that did not work than things that did.”
Success-driven people don’t just curl up into a ball and mourn a failure because “people are not remembered by how many times they failed, but by how often they succeed.” The saddest summaries of life contains three descriptions; COULD have, MIGHT have and SHOULD have.
So, each time you face an adversity that seems so crippling that you never want to get up, remember that, like water to a plant; adversity grows you!
Never let failure get into your head!
(Excerpts from ‘Why Ask Why’ by John Mason)
Too many of us stand waiting for the conditions to be perfect before we launch out. We wait for the ship to be in place, gangplank in perfect position, the weather just right, and an engraved invitation before we move. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN! Get it? Never!! Dreams don’t move towards us, we have to move toward them. One author writes: ‘It’s time to quit waiting for perfection,inspiration,permission, reassurance, someone to change, the right person to come along, the kids to leave home, an absence of risk, someone to discover them, a clear set of instructions, more self confidence, or the pain to go away.’ Get your lazy behind off the ground and move it!! Instead of saying, ‘I’ve never done it before,’ say, ‘I have the opportunity to be first.’ Instead of saying, ‘I’ve tried that,’ say, ‘I’ve learned from experience.’ Instead of saying, ‘I don’t have the resources,’ say, ‘Necessity spurs invention.’ Instead of saying, ‘I don’t have the expertise,’ say, ‘I’ll network with those who do.’ Instead of saying, ‘It’ll never get better,’ say, ‘I’ll try one more time.’ Instead of saying, ‘I don’t have enough money,’ say ‘Maybe there are expenses I can cut.’ Instead of saying, ‘It’s not my job, let somebody else deal with it,’ say ‘I’m ready to learn something new.’ Instead of saying, ‘I can’t,’ say, ‘By God’s grace I can!’ You have no excuse. Not a one! So, get moving and follow your dreams!! (The Word for Today. February,2012)
We look for God and often wonder where He is. Most of us may never have the ‘burning bush’ experience. He is certainly not always in the roaring wind or the flaming fire. Where then is He? In the little things of our everyday life! (a) You’re 10 minutes late for the bus and you’re wondering how you’ll get home, and like magic, the bus arrives with the driver complaining about how the bus would not start. He even apologises to you! Who delayed the bus? (b) You owe someone who needs his money today. You don’t have a dime but when he comes, you have money you didn’t beg for.How? (c) You’re in a hurry and can’t find your phone or car keys. You’re searching like a demented fellow when your dog brings it to you. Who? This is the conclusion of the whole matter; God is in the small miracles of our everyday life!
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